RESULTS ARE IN! Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

April 1st - the day I had been dreading for weeks.

It's a crazy feeling when you are sat in that waiting room trying to prepare yourself for the worst but hoping that it will all be fine. 

I had been convincing myself for weeks that this was it....that the doctor would be telling us that the MRI had shown that I wasn't able to carry a child and that conceiving one was possibly a no no too.

When we were finally called I could actually hear my heart beating, it sounded like it was going to jump out of my body. My whole body was shaking.


The doctor said that he had been one of the ones who had done my laparoscopy and knew what had been done and said during it. He explained that my tubes and ovaries had been looked at in depth and were fine, he then went on to say that the reason they done the MRI was to confirm their diagnosis of my uterus shape.

Before the operation I was told that I had a septate (a wall that divided the womb) and that they were not sure of the severity. It turns out that it's not a septate but rather bicornuate .

The link below explains this in more depth.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a551934/abnormalities-of-the-uterus-in-pregnancy

The doctor said that the uterus is heart shaped but they did not remove it duiring surgery because it is not a full wall like a septate. 

This means that IF I eventually fall pregnant 

a: the baby could lay breach
b: the baby could be small or limbs could become squashed/ bent into other positions
c: waters could break prematurely

It just means I would have to be monitored closely with scans etc 

He then went on to say that he has spoken with my specialist fertility doctor and they feel that they should now offer IVF to us as this would give us a better chance of conceiving.

I always said that I didn't know if I could face IVF if it came to it but hearing this was a huge relief....I was just glad that they were not telling me that I would never have a child.
I know that IVF dosen't guarantee falling pregnant as I have seen many women on my ttc Instagram account going through endless cycles of it with no joy but it has given me hope again.

We have been given a list of 5 hospital choices to be referred to and now have the tough decision of where we feel would be best to go.

The choices we have are:

Bourn Hall Clinic in Cambridge
Oxford IVF hospital
Leicester hospital for IVF
St Barts in London
Hammersmith IVF centre

We have decided that it will be out of St Barts and Bourn Hall, I've just got to complete some bloodwork with Basildon Hospital and then we can finaliose our decision.

Something tells me that we are going to have some more crazy months to come.