Here we go again!

So I began day 1 of Provera again on Thursday, not before having to go through the whole traumatic experience of another pregnancy test just to make sure I wasn't.
So day 35 with a negative preg test and it begun again...
I woke up on Friday morning feeling like rubbish and was on the edge of tears. Now I'm not quite sure if I was sad because the reality of the scheduled surgery had hit me, or if it was the tablets and then of course it could be just because I got out of the wrong side of the bed?? who knows!!
All I can say is that ever since then I have been up and down all over the place, not quite as bad as I have been before though so hopefully I'm just grumpy because I'm tired.

1 bodged Uterus and 4 More Months of Clomid.

Our appointment with the specialist was this week.
I was very nervous about what the outcome would be and I had kind of prepared myself to be told that I would have to have a Laparoscopy as they had mentioned this before.
We were with the registrar for my doctor this time and she asked me to go through where we were up to and what we had done so far, so I told her about my failed Clomid cycles and that I my doseage was being increased to 100mg a day next time.
She told me that another 4 rounds of Clomid starting with 100mg is what we need to continue with....to which I breathed a sigh of relief in a way.
Then I opened my big gob and told her what Dr Jadhav had said before about wanting to correct the septate in my womb.
At first she said that we would wait until after these 4 cycles and then talk about the surgery but then decided to go and speak to Dr Jadhav who was in the room next door.
She was gone for what felt like a lifetime, when she came back in the room I knew what I was going to hear.....she explained that the Dr had said from looking at the HSG xray again he isn't sure of the severity of my uterus defect and that it looks like two horns (so basically my womb could be dived completely into 2 haves). He wants to do the surgery (a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy) asap so that we can continue with treatment and not have to worry that this is having any effect on concieving.
So they made me sign all the consent forms and told me all the details about how they might puncture a few other organs by mistake but they will fix them if that happens! WONDERFUL!
I left the hospital feeling a mix of emotions but I didn't cry this time! Of course I am scared to death by the thought of having this operation but I think I kind of shut off to it all.