We Can Do Hard Things!

The last couple of weeks have hands down been two of the craziest and toughest I've ever had.
The emotional effects of going through IVF are so hard to deal with and there were time's during the injections that I started to want to throw in the towel.

The first injection was Gonal F which is a follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) which increases the numbers of follicles and stimulates their development around the ovaries.
Generally on a natural cycle a woman will make 1 follicle on each ovary....in my case I ended up with about 5 on one side and 7 on the other.
I had to use the Gonal F pen for 5 nights to begin with and it had to be administered at 7pm.
Yes 7pm which meant that no matter where I was I had to do it!
The first time was the worst as I had worked myself up about it all day beforehand. I sat there staring at it for a good 20minutes before even attempting to do the jab. It's one of those things....you know that you've got to do it but you literally have such a mental block when it actually comes to putting the needle into your skin.
After a hell of a lot of tears and harsh words from both me and Kenny at eachother, I just done it. I knew that if I didn't do it then I was pretty much blowing the only chance I have of creating my own family, it's probably one of the worst feelings ever.
Once the needle was in (initially it stings) it didn't hurt at all.....it itched a little afterward and I sat laughing through tears at how stupid I had been.

The next few injections with this pen were a breeze not really a problem.
After 5 days of this I had an ultrasound which showed some good developments and I was told to start my Cetrotide injections in the evenings along with my Gonal F.

Cetrotide is a drug used to block the signal in the pituitary gland which tells the body to release the eggs.
This keeps them at the ovaries to mature for longer.

This injection has been horrid to do..... I would inject myself with the Gonal F first as it was the easier one and then I'd mix up this
shot.
I became a pro in the end and if ever there was a time to feel like a druggy this was defo it.
You have to take the biggest needle and attach it to the syringe, push the liquid into the powder filled vial, wait for that to dissolve, draw the fluid back up, then change the needle to the smaller one (which was longer than the Gonal f one I might add), then get rid of air bubbles and finally then stab myself with it.
I found this injection more intimidating just because it was a syringe. The needle itself didn't really hurt that much but the after burn was soooooooooooooooo bad. It made my whole stomach red and it was painful.
By the 3rd day of doing these my stomach was so sore that I would get really worked up about doing them again. I had done so well conquering my fear of needles but there's a time when you feel like you've just had enough now and I was at that point.

You can see in the image to the right all the little scratches and puncture marks from the injections.
I wasn't bruised on the outside at all but by the 10th/11th injection my skin was so sore to touch that finding a spot that wasn't tender was impossible and this is what made it more unbearable.

I'm just glad that I've got through them, no doubt I'll get given more at some point soon but I am very proud that I managed to overcome this.

We really can do hard things!

IVF 2014

Baby In A Box!

So it's Official.....we are starting our first round of IVF imminently. 

The box containing all of the medication needed to create our 'Miracle' came yesterday.









Pretty scary stuff!
   

If you aren't nervous about your passion, You aren't passionate about it!

I've not posted on here since April.

Sometimes you just need some head space away from all of the craziness that infertility brings....this has most certainly been the case and we were also waiting for our referral to be sent off to Bourn Clinic.

We waited 10 weeks for the papers to be signed off by the specialist at the main hospital, it became so frustrating that I started to doubt if this was ever going to happen.
Luckily once Bourn finally received the documents they were much quicker to get things going.

We were sent an appointment for a seminar which we had to attend before we could have treatment.

On the day we got to Bourn at 2.30pm and was met by a friendly receptionist who showed us around the main building and left us in the canteen to get ourselves a drink.
When I say canteen, this is not like your school or work canteen.....this is a small room in a Victorian manor with carpet, posh sofa's and amazing views of the landscapes outside.
It took us 15 minutes to work out how to use the fancy coffee machines and I did nearly give up at one point but I knew that we had to familiarize ourselves with them one way or another as I would probably be spending quite a bit of time in this place over the coming months lol.

So we get our coffee's and sit down for 30 minutes in the posh canteen whilst watching all the other couples wrestle the drinks machine.
Afterwards we were ushered into the main room which was set out with a projector and rows of chairs which had all been taken barring the one's right at the front. "How typical is that?" I thought to myself.
So there me an Kenny are shuffling down this aisle past all of these other couples who are probably feeling just as scared, anxious and nervous as we are but all I could think was that we looked the the classroom boffins sitting bang at the front.
We take our seat and I instantly notice how unbelievably hot it is in the room. I have a banging headache anyway and now I am sat in a semi dark room, with no air-con, next to a projector machine that is blowing out hot air on the hottest day of the year so far. BRILLIANT!!!!

They hand out the paperwork and an information pack to each couple and we begin to flick through the hundreds of pages. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife.....I sat there wondering if they all felt like I did inside? A mess who just wished that this was a bad dream.
A woman at the front then introduced herself, she is one of the main doctors and for the next hour we were taken through a slideshow of information and a biology lesson in reproduction. At one point I kept feeling like I was going to black out...I kept going clammy and dizzy from the heat in the room, well maybe it was the heat or maybe it was a combo of that and extreme nerves?
If I didn't know about how the reproductive organs worked before hand I certainly do now.

Our first consultation is coming up and I am petrified, being told in fine detail what to expect is helpful in some ways but not in others....I feel like I'm already counting down the days until I have to stab myself in the stomach with needles.

I feel that so far I have been very open about my journey through all of this process as I feel that it could help someone else in the same position who is scared or dosen't know what to expect. I am just getting to the stage now though where I don't know if I should start keeping things more private?

Hope is all I have & stories like this keep me positive

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Health/Family/Our-two-little-miracles-Cambridge-mum-tells-how-IVF-has-given-her-the-family-shed-always-dreamed-of-20140422093021.htm

Another testimonial post about Bourn Hall

http://blog.bourn-hall-clinic.co.uk/ivf-baby-makes-mums-day/

Bourn Hall Tops The IVF Success Rate Charts Again

Our chosen IVF clinic has hit the headlines this month by topping the success charts yet again.
This is really good news for us but I'm wondering if all of the exposure will make others want to be referred there too?? Will this mean a longer waiting list?

 

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Health/Health-news/Cambridgeshires-Bourn-Hall-fertility-clinic-tops-the-success-charts-20140401064155.html