So Glad My Misfortune Made Someone Happy!

20.10.14
Another day, ANOTHER SCAN!
Today's scan was the final one all of my follicles were at good sizes (of course there's no guarantee that there are eggs in there though) and the nurse was quite happy for me to be booked in for the retrieval.

During the follicle scans the nurses look on each side of the ovaries for these small black circles, these are the follicles, they then measure them using he ultrasound machine. 
The follicles need to be around 16mm to be mature enough for them to want to do collection. Some women's follicles do not mature and they have to try upping the doseage of the medication or if that still dosen't work they just do the retrieval and hope that there are some eggs that they can use.

I was very lucky through this process, everything seems to have gone very smoothly and my body appears to have responded well.

The nurse also looked at my womb lining with 3d ultrasound to check that the lining was thick enough (which it was) and here is when she realised that my womb is nothing but ordinary.
I'm used to the doctors commenting on it now but normally the nurses cannot see the defect on the ultrasound machine.

Well this time she picked up on it straight away and was quite excited that she could get a very clear 3d shot of it.
She was very excited and said that she couldn't wait to show the other nurses the image, I guess I was happy for her...I suppose from a nurse's point of view it's not every day that you get to see a true Biconuate Uterus on ultrasound but you can't help but think "cheers, I am having IVF and not knowing if a baby will survive in that bodge up of a uterus and here you are getting clappy happy over it". 
(to the right is my scan picture)
The Y in the scan is my womb which is why they say it's a heart shape, a normal womb would be a pear shape or upside down triangle.

Crappy Clomid and Another Failed Cycle!

I haven't posted for the past few weeks...medications accompanied with the side effects have left me weary and feeling too emotional to write about it.

In my last post I was having problems with Provera, I was feeling very nauseas and it was making me really miserable, little did I realise that this was just the beginning of my cycle from hell.
I am an emotional person anyway and cry when I'm happy, sad, in between, etc Lol, but this was on another level this time round. At one point I got really angry about losing an address book and wanted to smash up something, I also went shopping with Kenny and ended up crying over a frozen chicken that he put in the shopping basket because I felt sorry for it .(yes I laugh now about it but it didn't feel funny at the time)
On day 8 of taking Provera I started getting stomach pains, by day 10 I was cramping to the point of not being able to walk and AF arrived earlier than it normally does. It sounds stupid but I woke up in the middle of the night and the pains were so bad that I thought that maybe somehow I was pregnant and having a miscarriage because it hurt that bad. I was standing at the windowsill, breathing in and out slowly because the pain was so bad. I honestly don't know why I was in so much pain but I just hope that I don't have to go through it again, it started going off on about Cycle day 2/3.

I then began taking the 50mg of Clomid again and booked my Follicle scan with the hospital.

The time leading up to my Scan really dragged and I felt so sad, I knew deep down that it hadn't worked but I had to keep going and just hope that I was wrong.
Come scan day I was really on edge, I got there on time and yet again had to wait an extra 20minutes to be seen.
During the scan the nurse asked me if I've ever had PID (Pelvic Inflammatory disease) but did not go into detail of why she asked this. I've never had it as far as I know and I have had so many checks during this process that I would've thought that the doctors would know if I'd had it or not?
Anyway she continued doing the scan and then I went to talk with the senior nurse who gave me the results ............ It failed again!
No matter how many times you prepare yourself for the bad news it still feels like a kick in the stomach!
My womb lining has increased from 1.2 thickness to 4.4 which is good but still too thin so she said to continue taking the baby aspirin. The Follies on both sides were not mature at all (too small again) so she said that she will increase the Clomid to 75mg next month.

I went from the hospital to work...cried in my car on the way there, managed to keep it together during the day and then cried again in my car on the way home.

I was really negative yesterday but then the Nurse rang me out of the blue and said that she had spoken to our fertility doctor who wants the Clomid put up by more than just 25mg, so next Cycle I will be on 100mg instead.
I feel a bit better today, luckily I have great friends and family around me who keep me going and remind me to stay strong.

I know that Rome wasn't built in a day but this whole process seems so dragged out and never ending.
I was talking with someone who I work with today who has also been through this and what she said hit the nail on the head... "it's the not knowing when it will happen or if it even will that hurts".

But I don't like the rain so I hope it dosen't last long!

I Love this saying!

 

Thanks for That!

The next Scan!

During the 3 months of taking Provera I also had to go and have another scan as the doctor at the Gynae Unit wanted another opinion.

So off I went up to the hospital for this scan which just so happened to be in the maternity unit. I mean talk about being insensitive, there I was sat in the waiting room with a bunch of pregnant women..it felt like someone was rubbing it in my face.

One by one they were going in and coming out all happy and there I was dreading what I was about to have done and knowing that all I would get to see on the screen is my friggin ovaries!!! I really wanted to stand up and scream at everyone who was in that room, I can't tell you how much I had to stop myself from crying!

So then I was called in........I first had the external ultrasound as I had done before at my doctors and the nurse said that she couldn't see any problems with my ovaries. Yes there were a couple of small cysts but she said that all women have a few and that's natural.

She told me that I would need to have the internal ultrasound as this gets a closer look and she would be able to give me a better decision on if I had Polycystic Ovaries or not.

I guess I was kind of relieved that it was a women doctor doing this as it's bad enough having it done without it being a man.

The internal scan wasn't quite as bad as I'd imagined, it didn't really hurt, was just uncomfortable but I tried to concentrate on the screen and the nurse talked me through what she could see.

I've put a link below for anyone who wants to read more about this ultrasound, there's images of the machine used, etc.

http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=pelvus

The outcome was that she didn't think that my ovaries had enough cysts to warrant diagnosis of Polycystic Ovaries and so I was sent on my way!