The emotional effects of going through IVF are so hard to deal with and there were time's during the injections that I started to want to throw in the towel.
Generally on a natural cycle a woman will make 1 follicle on each ovary....in my case I ended up with about 5 on one side and 7 on the other.
I had to use the Gonal F pen for 5 nights to begin with and it had to be administered at 7pm.
Yes 7pm which meant that no matter where I was I had to do it!
The first time was the worst as I had worked myself up about it all day beforehand. I sat there staring at it for a good 20minutes before even attempting to do the jab. It's one of those things....you know that you've got to do it but you literally have such a mental block when it actually comes to putting the needle into your skin.
After a hell of a lot of tears and harsh words from both me and Kenny at eachother, I just done it. I knew that if I didn't do it then I was pretty much blowing the only chance I have of creating my own family, it's probably one of the worst feelings ever.
Once the needle was in (initially it stings) it didn't hurt at all.....it itched a little afterward and I sat laughing through tears at how stupid I had been.
The next few injections with this pen were a breeze not really a problem.
After 5 days of this I had an ultrasound which showed some good developments and I was told to start my Cetrotide injections in the evenings along with my Gonal F.
Cetrotide is a drug used to block the signal in the pituitary gland which tells the body to release the eggs.
This keeps them at the ovaries to mature for longer.
This injection has been horrid to do..... I would inject myself with the Gonal F first as it was the easier one and then I'd mix up this
shot.I became a pro in the end and if ever there was a time to feel like a druggy this was defo it.
You have to take the biggest needle and attach it to the syringe, push the liquid into the powder filled vial, wait for that to dissolve, draw the fluid back up, then change the needle to the smaller one (which was longer than the Gonal f one I might add), then get rid of air bubbles and finally then stab myself with it.
I found this injection more intimidating just because it was a syringe. The needle itself didn't really hurt that much but the after burn was soooooooooooooooo bad. It made my whole stomach red and it was painful.
By the 3rd day of doing these my stomach was so sore that I would get really worked up about doing them again. I had done so well conquering my fear of needles but there's a time when you feel like you've just had enough now and I was at that point.
You can see in the image to the right all the little scratches and puncture marks from the injections.
I wasn't bruised on the outside at all but by the 10th/11th injection my skin was so sore to touch that finding a spot that wasn't tender was impossible and this is what made it more unbearable.
I'm just glad that I've got through them, no doubt I'll get given more at some point soon but I am very proud that I managed to overcome this.
We really can do hard things!
