It's strange how I've been waiting for this for so long... yet now I am faced with the prospect of it all I am terrified!
I couldn't wait to start the treatment before but gradually as it has got nearer to 'the day it begins' I have wound myself up so much with negativity that I had convinced myself that I didn't want to take the tablets.
The mixture of emotions is a really scary thing! On one hand I was feeling happy that this could work and I could potentially be pregnant within the next couple of months, but on the other hand I was thinking about what the doctor said about possibly misscarrying.
I also then started thinking "wow I could actually be a mum by next year" ....."do you really want this Rachel? do you? do you?"........."all that pain, sleepless nights".
Luckily after talking through it with others and sorting myself out, I got up this morning and bit the bullet as they say!
I rang the ultrasound department and booked my appointment for my follicle scan and then went and immediatley took my first 50mg Clomid tablet.
So this is it....Round 1 of clomiphene begins.
Fingers crossed x
A few months ago when going back and forth to hospital for investigations I came across some fertility posts on Instagram.
At first I didn't think much of it but when I was really low I just had this urge to click on some of the ttc hashtags to see how others were getting on and it was here that I discovered a whole community dedicated to infertility.
What amazed me was how many women there were connected on it from all over the world, from all different walks of life and yet it was like they were all best friends brought together by the one thing .....INFERTILITY!
I began posting about this subject too and started talking with others about treatments, then I noticed that others kept in touch by post and send eachother little messages and care packages as pick me ups.
I began to write to others too, some in this country and some abroad.
I have recieve the most amazing letters and gifts over the past few months and I am so so incredibly
thankful.
Top left: Beth Top Right: Laura
left: Chelsea
The Nail Polish Exchange
Chelsea also arranged a nail polish exchange recently which involved something like 80 ladies around the world (on IG) who are trying to concieve, going through treatment, etc.
Everyone had a secret person to send a box of goodies to and by a certain date.
I recieved this amazing package (left) from Sally in Australia.
It was full to the brim with the most amazing items....and she had got my personilty spot on with all of the scrapbooking items.
She even managed to sneak in the nail polish! :)
Incredible woman and again another person I am thankful to have crossed paths with on IG.
I know that social networking can cause lots of problems but in this case I think it shows how good it can be too.
Like my mum said to me.. when she was going through this situation 30 years ago, it was like you were on your own with no-one for support and something as simple as knowing that others are going through the same helps.
